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Some one really HATES me!!!!!!!!!!!

Today is probably the worst day, since I got sick.
I went to the hospital to start my Chemo, but first I had to talk to a doctor.
He just glanced at me and then told me that I could not have Chemotherapy at all, cause it had been four month since I had the operation. So I could not have any treatment at the hospital.
(At that point I started crying so hard that my Mum who was there thank God, had to take over the talking from me.)
What they have told me all along was that I had to heal and start chemo with in SIX month!!!!!!!
What they will do, is keep a close eye on me, and when/if the last cancer cells there still float around in me, turn into another tumour, they will operate me again, hope I heal faster next time and then treat me with chemo.
So basically what I have to do is to wait until I get another breast cancer!!!!!!!!!!!!!

In January I have to talk to yet another doctor about this decision, and I have to talk to a psychologist.

I don`t know what to do, but I will make a complain about the doctor, because NO ONE have told me that I could not have chemo, if it took more that three months from an operation till the treatment.

But right now I just sit here, feeling completely depressed….but I don`t cry anymore.
I just feel so bad, completely blank and empty in my head, and I think that what little Christmas spirit I had, have now left me.

So that is what happened to me today.


( 19 comments — Leave a comment )
Dec. 22nd, 2007 09:05 pm (UTC)
I'm so sorry. *hugs*
Dec. 22nd, 2007 09:17 pm (UTC)
Thanks so much hon.
*hugs back*
Dec. 22nd, 2007 11:34 pm (UTC)
If I wanted to write you a ficlet for Xmas, what pairing should I write?
Dec. 23rd, 2007 07:14 am (UTC)
If you really want to I would love some Adrian/Terence, they always cheer me up;)
Thank you♥
Dec. 22nd, 2007 09:11 pm (UTC)
Oh, my Kastanje Honey...
I'm so sorry to hear that... -_- You know I want to believe that everything will be alright.
But I'm so disappointed that they gave you so wrong informations. ou have the right to know the truth, I mean what it can and can't be done è_é
I'm really angry right now!
I don't want you to feel depressed. I know that you are very strong and that you are fighting with all your strenth and you have to go on even with this news.
I hope you'll enjoy your Christmas with your parents and that the Season spirit will take care of you!
You know I think about you every day and every night before sleeping I just wish you to heal and feel better.
Dec. 22nd, 2007 09:21 pm (UTC)
Thanks so much sweetie,
I will be strong and I know I will get my Christmas spirit back and have a great Christmas with my parents.
Right now I just feel so sad and empty, and angry about all the wrongness that have happend to me.
I am so greatful that you think of me and I feel so lucky that I know you;)
Dec. 22nd, 2007 09:53 pm (UTC)
Aww Hon! I am so so sorry to hear that, that sucks big time them giving you false hope about the chemo.

I know it is really hard for you right now, but don't give up you have your parents and all of us supporting you, also it's the season for miracles! Try to keep strong, and anytime you want to vent your feelings you know where I am.

*smishes you tight*

Dec. 22nd, 2007 10:02 pm (UTC)
Thanks honey,
I´m so glad you are here.
I know I will fight this, but right now I just feel that all the bad luck in the world is aimed at me...
I will take you up on your offer;)
*kisses and hugs*
Dec. 22nd, 2007 09:57 pm (UTC)
WTF?! That's just...you see this is why doctors are quacks!!!! WTF.

I'm sorry!!! -hugs- I wish I could do something to make it better for you!
Dec. 22nd, 2007 10:03 pm (UTC)
Thanks hon,
just knowing you´re there makes it easier.
Dec. 23rd, 2007 12:18 am (UTC)

Translation: Rabble, Rabble, Rabble!
Dec. 23rd, 2007 07:15 am (UTC)
Thanks hon,
It is exactly how I feel;,,,
(Deleted comment)
Dec. 23rd, 2007 07:17 am (UTC)
Thanks sweets,
When I get my head together I will make the complain, cause I am so angry and hurt right now..
I will enjoy Cristmas, and ♥I LOVE YOU♥
Dec. 23rd, 2007 02:16 am (UTC)
oh baby.
*hugs you tight*
i just... i have no idea what to say.
*holds you*
Dec. 23rd, 2007 07:18 am (UTC)
Thanks honey,
You know how to make me feel better.
♥hugs you back♥
Dec. 23rd, 2007 02:46 am (UTC)
Let me at them... I will hurt them. No one make my girl cry like that *loads gun*
Dec. 23rd, 2007 07:19 am (UTC)
Thanks so much hon,
*pionts at doctor*
Dec. 26th, 2007 03:24 pm (UTC)
Oh honey, I am so sorry you are being made to go through this. I will be praying for you that you get closure on this very soon. *hugs tight*
Dec. 27th, 2007 04:42 pm (UTC)
Thanks a bunch honey,
You always makes me feel better;)
*hugs back*
( 19 comments — Leave a comment )

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