Today is probably the worst day, since I got sick.
I went to the hospital to start my Chemo, but first I had to talk to a doctor.
He just glanced at me and then told me that I could not have Chemotherapy at all, cause it had been four month since I had the operation. So I could not have any treatment at the hospital.
(At that point I started crying so hard that my Mum who was there thank God, had to take over the talking from me.)
What they have told me all along was that I had to heal and start chemo with in SIX month!!!!!!!
What they will do, is keep a close eye on me, and when/if the last cancer cells there still float around in me, turn into another tumour, they will operate me again, hope I heal faster next time and then treat me with chemo.
So basically what I have to do is to wait until I get another breast cancer!!!!!!!!!!!!!

In January I have to talk to yet another doctor about this decision, and I have to talk to a psychologist.

I don`t know what to do, but I will make a complain about the doctor, because NO ONE have told me that I could not have chemo, if it took more that three months from an operation till the treatment.

But right now I just sit here, feeling completely depressed….but I don`t cry anymore.
I just feel so bad, completely blank and empty in my head, and I think that what little Christmas spirit I had, have now left me.

So that is what happened to me today.