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Wednesday I was going through my flist reading posts and commenting as usual.

I stumbled over a locked post from C..l, where she was writing something about my friend (Called D for short here), a not nice post, things that was not true and ending will name-calling as Bitch….I did not comment on the post, spend the afternoon thinking what to do…in the evening I wrote D telling her about the post.
Thursday C wrote another post raging against the Traitor that betrayed her and wished her to catch fire - or something like that - the next time she betrayed her.

As I did not want anyone to get punished for what I did, I wrote a post about what I did. Then I left the house for a few hours and when I came home I had gotten a not nice pm from C and a defriending. It was to be expected.

Over the next days I got a lot of nice mails and pm´s from friends, telling me I did the right thing. I also got told that I was not the only one C, had gotten angry at for different reasons over the years and defriended.
But another thing happened too. Defriending was going on between friends of mine and other lj´ers.

This morning I got a long Pm, that was going out to others too, from a friend of mine that had gotten involved. What she wrote about me was, that on one hand I did the right thing to D, on the other hand I betrayed C, as her post was a locked post.
It ended with an announcement that the person, was filtering me out of her lj, as she did not ”feel comfortable opening up to you”
but if I felt she was worthy I could keep her as a friend and maybe things could go back to normal one day.

Thing is; I don’t really know how to react to all of this;
- I do not think I did anything wrong informing D that someone was telling lies about her.
- I did not mean for anyone else to get involved.
- I do not like being called a traitor by anyone, and I do not like that someone that I have known for years, tells me she does not trust me because of this one thing.
- If anyone of my friends here, feels that they do not trust me or feel the need to defriend me, because of this, please do it now, so we can get this over with.

- If I got into this situation again, I would do the same thing



( 50 comments — Leave a comment )
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Oct. 16th, 2011 05:51 pm (UTC)
I think you acted honourably, it is terrible how people act sometimes on LJ - I don't think it would be the same if we saw each other face to face xxx
Oct. 16th, 2011 06:27 pm (UTC)
Thank you darling, your words means so much to me.
Oct. 16th, 2011 05:56 pm (UTC)
I love you honey, I dont know who you are referring to or what really happened but I know I love you and I am proud to call you my friend.
Oct. 16th, 2011 06:27 pm (UTC)
Thank you so much Mags, I love you and I miss you♥
Oct. 16th, 2011 05:59 pm (UTC)
I'm definitely not planning to de-friend you. Don't have a reason. :)

And I'm sorry about this whole nuts situation. You tried to help someone and this mess is what you get in return.
Oct. 16th, 2011 06:30 pm (UTC)
I´m glad I get to keep you♥
There will always be people that do not like what we do sometimes, but even if things get crazy, I know I want to protect my friends..
Oct. 16th, 2011 06:02 pm (UTC)
I sent you a pm in the early hours and I meant what I said, to me you are a truthful and loyal person/friend and the world would be a better place with more people like you.

Knowing what you did, only makes me trust you more. ♥

*Massive hugs* xx
Oct. 16th, 2011 06:31 pm (UTC)
Thank you so much Debz, for your support your pm and your friendship and kind words..
I consider myself a loyal friend, and want to protect my friends.
♥hugs and love♥
Oct. 16th, 2011 06:07 pm (UTC)
Here's the thing - of course one could say you shouldn't tell other people about locked entries someone makes on their personal LJ because this is against the purpose of a locked entry. BUT (and that's a big but) everybody should always keep in mind that the people on your flist are always connected to other people as well. And they might have a stronger friendship with those as they have with you. So ranting about someone - another person - can always backfire at them. And if you're talking about someone behind their back and naming names to get reactions from others - you have to allow people all kinds of reactions, both ones you like and ones you don't like. If you don't want that, do it by writing pm's to people you know react how you want them to....

Sorry, does that make any sense? Anyway, I admire you for doing what you did and am proud to have you on my flist because I know I have at least one person I know would stand up for me. That makes me feel really good.

If you weren't on my flist already...now would be the moment to add you, not take you off!

I hope you can put this behind you now...go and put your CD in and listen to it as the man himself suggested - LOUD ;-).
Oct. 16th, 2011 06:36 pm (UTC)
It does make sense, and I know if it was a minor problem I would not have done what I did. But it was a really nasty thing she wrote, things I knew was lies and the namecalling, I hate that....
I am so glad that I have you here, you are an amazing friend(and not just because you get me amazing gifts^^)
I will, listen to reason and great music♥
Oct. 16th, 2011 06:25 pm (UTC)
You defended me from something you knew would not be true and i will always regret the hurt and pain this has caused you

You are the sweetest most honest person and please, please don't let this put you off being that person, this world is a better place for having you in it.
Oct. 16th, 2011 06:39 pm (UTC)
♥hugs you tight♥
None of this is your fault Susan, I did what I had to do and I would do it again in a heartbeat♥
Thank you for your lovely and kind words.
♥Love you♥
Oct. 16th, 2011 06:32 pm (UTC)
What the bleddy hell is this? A sandbox?
I very much think you did the right thing. If someone was badmouthing me I would like to know about it.

People need to straighten up and actually think about how they behave. Talking behind someone's back always hits you hard sooner or later. This C person needs to learn that.

You keep your head held high!

Oct. 16th, 2011 07:10 pm (UTC)
People can write what they want in their lj, but if they are insulting or telling lies about my friends I get angry..
Oct. 16th, 2011 06:32 pm (UTC)
Like I've said before- you are BRAVE for telling our friend what someone wrote about her. And that other person? She is NEVER ever going to change.

*hugs you*
Oct. 16th, 2011 06:46 pm (UTC)
Thank you honey, you are so right, she will never change.
I am sorry you got draged into this too.
♥hugs and kisses♥
(no subject) - schnute23 - Oct. 17th, 2011 11:13 am (UTC) - Expand
Oct. 16th, 2011 06:35 pm (UTC)
ok, let me get this straight.

Person A goes on lj and bitches to people who know person B ABOUT person B.

Someone who is 'friends' with A AND B tells B so B can defend themself.

SOMEONE comes forward and openly stands to their actions that they wanted to be fair to their friends and give them a chance to defend themself.

and then people start to defriend SOMEONE for being a traitor?

honestly, the only person I would be defriending in that scenario is person A. and after what B said to SOMEONE, probably person B too.

If you want to bitch about someone, go ahead, but do it in a way that gives the person a chance to defend themselves from the start. otherwise you're no better then one of those anon-cowards, hiding behind anonymity to spout shit they aren't 'man enough' to tell you to your face.

this is the thing people should do more often, stand up for each other, no matter if on the street, on the internet or around friends. make the bullies stop. and you, my girl, are a hero.

we all should stand up more often, and make the bullies stop *hugs*
Oct. 16th, 2011 07:18 pm (UTC)
Amen to that and thank you so so much darling♥
That is so true and I am happy for all the nice comments I´ve gotten here and in previous posts too.
We should all be better to help and defend our friends both outside and with in the net.
I am so happy that I have you here and in my life honey.
♥love you♥
Oct. 16th, 2011 06:36 pm (UTC)
*hugs tightly* I have no idea what happened, but it sounds like you did the right thing. As people above have said, this just goes to show what a loyal friend you are and I am glad to have you on my flist!
Oct. 16th, 2011 07:12 pm (UTC)
Thanks honey, I want to protect my friends if I can.
♥Thank you for your kind words♥
Oct. 16th, 2011 07:07 pm (UTC)
Annette, lots of love for you... ♥
(one of the most generous people I met on LJ)

Oct. 16th, 2011 07:11 pm (UTC)
You are such a sweet girl, thank you for being here♥
Oct. 16th, 2011 07:33 pm (UTC)
I think this is a bad situation for all of you:
First you read the entry with the mean things about a friend of yours. That's something nobody wants to read.
Second you are unsure how to react because the writer of the mean words is a friend too
Third you decide to do the right thing and tell you friend about the mean words. That was hard to do because I know you had the feeling of telling secrets to her.

BUT I say it again and again: Your friend is the only one who did something wrong because she must have known that you are a friend of the other girl too and with writing such things in her personal journal she had to know that it would be difficult for you. It's what friends do for each other: They have their back! And sure it's her journal and the entry was f-locked but she must have known that her words would bring problems to those who like the other girl too. Still she accepted the problems and then she got mad at you for telling what she said? What would she have done if the situation was reverse? Wouldn't she be thankful to you for beeing so honest? Wouldn't she be glad to have such a good friend? She is the one who did the wrong thing and now she is too angry at everybody else to see it.

And the friend who now has trust issues? If I were you I had trust issues with her because you did the right thing and if she can't see it maybe she isn't trustworthy? Maybe she is like the first girl who tells mean things about friends? I think you should be happy to let them go.

You did nothing wrong!
You were brave though you expected some drama about it.

I'm proud to be on your list!

Edited at 2011-10-16 07:36 pm (UTC)
Oct. 29th, 2011 01:19 pm (UTC)

Hey darling, I am so so sorry for being late at answering you here..
Thank you for your kind words and for your support. I know a lot of people think they are “safe” in the anonymousity of the new, but as I am on a first name bases and presents wit ha lot of my lj friends, it hurt me deeply when someone is attacked like that.
Jasmine wrote me a rather nasty PM, telling me that she suspected me and another one on her flist to be the “traitor”…with that in mind I didn’t feel that bad for her defriending me. If she jump to conclusions like that, before I come clean, I don’t want to be her friend.
That doesn’t mean that I will rat out on my friends here, I have had this LJ for five years, and my flist have always been nice and kind, helpful and supportive as I have tried to be to them..no one has ever attacked each other on my flist, so it is not that I am know for being a traitor.

As for the other friend, it turned out that she had got a wrong message, so we worked it out and are good now…
I am so glad that I have you as a friend and that you are so sweet and supportive.
♥big hugs and Love♥

Oct. 16th, 2011 07:52 pm (UTC)
Jeez, you didn't deserve all that. All you were trying to do was stick up for a friend who was being badmouthed. It seems like people overreacted. I'm sorry you had to deal with that. It was not your fault.
Oct. 17th, 2011 08:26 am (UTC)
Thank you honey, I glad you feel this way.
Oct. 16th, 2011 08:06 pm (UTC)
you know i have been defriended by the past several times cause of friends of my flist making something but me i was innocent.
I make you totally trust baby. As i said this time i will like that lot make something in posting on their lj lot of fans on the person that she is and post anymore on dean_sam. It's the best punishement for her and that lot defriend her. If lot make it for all the fans that she hurted all this years, that she treated as a shit. For the moment im super angry that she treated you as that you so sweet, so generous with the others.Love.
Oct. 17th, 2011 08:28 am (UTC)
Thank you Love, I am so sorry that you and others have been treated so bad by her too. No one decerves to be treated like that.
♥love you♥
Oct. 16th, 2011 08:16 pm (UTC)
Hey Annette, again, you did not wrong.... It's sad that people are so stupids.. And like I said before: I never will go defriend you, except if you want me out from your list.

You're so lovely and so generous. I don't care if people only see what they want see.. That person never will change...

Brazilian hugs sweetie...
Oct. 17th, 2011 08:37 am (UTC)
Thanks Pol, I am so ever pleased for your kind words and support♥
I would NEVER want you out from my list, NEVER!!!
♥Love youuuuu♥
(no subject) - pollyspn - Oct. 17th, 2011 10:24 am (UTC) - Expand
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