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As you all know by now I had a talk with the psychologist connected to the “rehab” work place, and she asked some strange questions, that I have been wondering about….

She didn’t think I told her the truth about how I really felt, as I was deliberately keeping something in…..of cause I didn’t tell her everything!!! I’ve never seen her before, didn’t know her and I talked with her for three hours…how much did she think she could get to know me?

She asked me what I would do if/when my Mum died before I did…I said “I’d kill myself”….then had to spend some time to assure her that I was joking.
To be true I have no idea…..as she doesn’t know what to do if I go first….

Another question was; “The fact that you are 41, almost 42 and is single and not married, does that mean that you are a lesbian???
What is the answer to that????
I told her that; I might have been a lesbian for an hour when I was 13 and kissed and cuddled my best friend Marie, but no I am not a lesbian, I just like to be alone, and the way I am now, husband hunting is not my first priority.

She asked about friends. I told her about you guys, my lovely internet family. She said; they are behind a pc screen, they are not real!!!….I got stunned….That means that all the Christmas cards, birthday cards, wedding cards, presents, bracelets, gifts, cheering up cards and things are not real??? I’ve just imagined all of you and never received all the things you’ve send me…and you’ve never received anything I’ve send you???? Not to mention all the posts, help love and everything I receive from you and what I give you…
I got rather animated when I told her about you and that you are more real than any RL friend I could ever get.

Those were the more weird questions, otherwise she was nice and listened to both me and Mum, and I think everything went well….

My check up yesterday went well too, so now I can be calm for the next six month…..

But…my sick leave stops the 25th of March…for now.. I hope the social workers decide to give me the pension, based on the RCA doctor talk I had and RCA psychologist talk here..also the oncologist letter from Lars and what my own doctor tells them.

Otherwise I don’t know….maybe they give me the pension or they renew my sick leave…..or I have to find another way to get money…

But we are an optimistic people right so everything will work out;)

♥hugs and kisses♥


( 49 comments — Leave a comment )
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Mar. 3rd, 2011 03:28 pm (UTC)
It really bugs me when people say online friends aren't real friends! You and other people on my flist are better friends than many that I know in real life! *hugs you tight*

I really hope they give you the pension, especially after you had to go through all of the talks with different people.

Mar. 3rd, 2011 08:10 pm (UTC)
Yeah I feel the same as you do. My friends here know more about me than any RL friend ever will.
Thank you for your kind wishes.
Mar. 3rd, 2011 03:31 pm (UTC)
What the hell kind of questions are those? Of course you have no idea what you will do if a loved one dies. You know afterwards, not before. And the other one; being single equals lesbian. So what being single? And if you said 'yes, lesbian', what would that have mattered? Waht does your sexual orientation have to do with your feelings after cancer treatment? I'm sorry if I'm being obtuse here, but seriously... And how the heck can she know if we're real or not? Duh! You can form true friendship over the net. Welcome to the modern world. JeeZ! I'm very real, thank you very much!
Three hours and you didn't smack her. That's impressive.

I'll go away and calm down now.Sorry 'bout the yelling.


Mar. 3rd, 2011 08:14 pm (UTC)
"Waht does your sexual orientation have to do with your feelings after cancer treatment?"
LOL thats exactly what I asked my Mum later when she came to pick me up..and she didn´t have a reply either.
I don´t know why some people can´t accept that Internet friends can be just as great as RL friends, or sometime better.
♥I am very happy that you are real♥
Mar. 3rd, 2011 03:35 pm (UTC)
I won't comment too much on getting the pension, other than saying GOOD LUCK. I'll just get too agitated considering I've been fighting for my permanent pension for 11 years now, and are still not there....

I just want to say I AM REAL!
It bugs me whenever anyone say that LJ/internet-friends are not real! It's INTERNET-friends, not VIRTUAL-friends. I think maybe those who say things like that think more virtual friends, and think that we just communicate to people hidden behind avartars, that we don't know the names to and know nothing about them. Sure, some of my flisters here on LJ, I don't know much about. But some I do! Some is closer than any (or most) RL friends.

Sure, having a large group (or a group at all) of RL friends wold be great! Actual face to face company with friends thrumps having to communicate throgh a comeputer screen... but that doesn't mean those friends aren't real.

So - artistic_sillie were not real until I met her at JIB in Rome? Did she become real when we spent time together there? Was she real just when we were there, or did she go back to being not real later on? Please, all those people telling me my flisters aren't real friends, explain this to me.
I have one flister living in Copenhagen - she drives up to me once or twice a year, and she has done so much for me helping me when I was unhappily married, strugling with collic child and depression, and she's one of the people that has spent most actual nights in my house. Is she real? Has she crossed the border from un-real to real with her visits to me.
Then I have a friend that used to live in Oslo that I knew before I knew internet. She moved back home to Stavanger, and now we mostly keep in touch through emails. Has she gone from being real to un-real? (Other than the about 2 weekends a year that we visit each other? Or maybe we are real when we speak on the phone but not through emails?)

Ugh - sorry - we are on the same side here - this just gets me so rilled up!
Mar. 4th, 2011 03:42 pm (UTC)
Oh noes!! 11 years..that is plain cruel to a person so sick as you….

LOL I know that your´re real, you all are;)
When the psychologist said that , I asked her where she thought that the 94 Christmas cards and presents I send out last year would have gone then?? She didn’t have an answer for that.

I had friends visiting from England and Norway last year and they were very real..and all the guys meeting at Cons and Concerts, I hope they are real too, otherwise it would be soooooo booooooooring;)

I am so happy that I’ve met you darling and I hope we get to meet one day. Maybe Amaya would like the Zoo here in Aalborg even if it isn’t Lego land;)

♥stor klemmer♥
Mar. 3rd, 2011 04:12 pm (UTC)
God I get pissed off when someone tells me my internet friends aren't real. it's those narrow-minded people that have never met a person online and think they know about internet what they read in newspapers. how everybody is to con you or rape you or steal your money. the sad part most of my friends are like that... I always had to 'excuse' my love for friends online. they don't think it's even possible. but now I just think how sad their lives are and how lucky I am for such amazing friends all over the world. *looks at the amount written* yup.. it still pisses me off. hehe

but seriously. I hope the pension thing come through and I'm really happy all went well.

why do shrinks think something is wrong with a person if one likes being alone. it's like we had to live by some rules.
I guess I'd be normal if I had a regular job, husband and house and 2,4 kids. I'd rather shoot myself. hehe It's not me.

Mar. 4th, 2011 02:56 pm (UTC)
I had the same problem with my RL friends accepting that my LJ friends are real and that I tell you everything..so now I don´t tell them anything anymore.
I was thinking about all the kind condolence cards you guys send to my Mum when my Dad passed away..you are not only caring about me, but my parents too..and that is what make REAL friends I think...we care about each other.
I hope everything workd out too, I am loosing my last energy to fight....

"I guess I'd be normal if I had a regular job, husband and house and 2,4 kids."
LOL here it is a regular job, husband, house, 1,8 kids, 2 cars and a dog.
I have no job, no husband, an apartment, four nieces, no car and 2 cats...that is good enough for me;)

♥hugs and loooooooove♥♥
Mar. 3rd, 2011 04:40 pm (UTC)
I don't care what other's say, your pretty real to me sweety. I hope you come right with the pension.

Mar. 3rd, 2011 08:08 pm (UTC)
♥hugs You are very real to me too darling♥
Thank you for your wishes.
(Deleted comment)
Mar. 3rd, 2011 08:16 pm (UTC)
LOL love the icon
I don´t know how she expected to get everything from me in three hours....I think there are parts od me that I am not even sure about yet.
♥hugs and love you♥
I am real too you not just a figment of your imagination;)
Mar. 3rd, 2011 05:17 pm (UTC)
That woman is... um... not very bright, yes? Idek.

Another question was; “The fact that you are 41, almost 42 and is single and not married, does that mean that you are a lesbian???

If I didn't know how stressful this must have been for you, I'd almost suspect Candid Camera or something like that. I mean... what? Seriously? Sounds like she has a few problems of her own. Sheesh.

*hugs you tight*
Mar. 3rd, 2011 08:18 pm (UTC)
Not really..
LOL Candid Camera, I wish I would have thought of that and asked her about it;)
♥hugs you back♥
Mar. 3rd, 2011 05:34 pm (UTC)
It sounds like she's not very open to people who want non-'normal' lives, like we should all want the same, husband, etc, which just isn't true. But I hope everything works out
Mar. 3rd, 2011 08:19 pm (UTC)
It is funny if you see how many single people there are in the world, we can´t all be lesbians - or gay...I don´t think so.
Thank you darling♥
Mar. 3rd, 2011 05:52 pm (UTC)
Be careful when you answer questions asked by someone (like the psychologist) whom you don't know. You don't know if the person will make a big deal out of what you say or not. In fairness to the psychologist, saying you would kill yourself has to put her or any psychologist on alert. People who say that and then say they are kidding may go on to do what they said. It does happen, so, professionally, she has to take your words seriously. Does that make sense?

If you have to see a psychologist (or whomever) again, take a few breaths, wait and think of what you want to say before you answer the questions. The person can wait for you to gather your thoughts.

As far as the question about being a lesbian, that is none of her business and I wish you had said that and that the question is inappropriate and gossipy, not professional.

As far as not telling her the truth, she needs to learn the difference between a patient telling some things but not all and a patient who is lying/not telling the truth.

Of course your LJ friends are real. If she said you also need to have friends near you so you can go out with them, fine, but saying they are not real is very judgmental.

The psychologist you saw doesn't appear to be very well trained or empathic and, as I said, seems judgmental. Not good in a psychologist. If you get what you need (your benefits), fine. You can just move on. If you don't, maybe it would benefit you to ask to see a more senior person and make a complaint or at least a report about what was asked during your session and how the psychologist handled the session, i.e., judging you, asking inappropriate sexual questions and so on.


Edited at 2011-03-03 05:56 pm (UTC)
Mar. 4th, 2011 03:07 pm (UTC)
It does make sense Buzzie..and we talked a lot about if I am or was suicidal. I told her that I have had friends, acquaintances and family member that have all killed themselves and I think it is a cowardly thing to do..I do understand that people can get out there where it is the only solution, but I would never do that to my Mum (and Dad before) to Sarah or to all my friends here on LJ…so no matter that I have no idea what to do if Mum goes before me, I will never kill myself.

I have to see her again, to read the conclusion she comes up with regarding my pension..

I have no idea what my sexual preferences, have to do with my cancer and side effects..maybe I wouldn’t get breast cancer if I was a lesbian??? I have no idea….I just like to be by myself…

It is very judgemental saying that internet friends aren’t real…..you guys know more about me and my family that my RL friends, because you care more, and that is what REAL friends do..care for each other.

Thank you for being here and caring for me Buzzie♥
Love you
Mar. 3rd, 2011 05:53 pm (UTC)
Darling. Not sure what to make of this psychologist, she doesn't sound the most open minded.

I hope everything works out for you getting the money you need without hassle.

*lots of big gentle hugs*
Mar. 4th, 2011 04:03 pm (UTC)
I don´t know what to think of her either..but if she writes in her evaluation that I need the pension, I can be a lesbian if that gives me what i want;)

♥hugs and love you♥
how are you doing honey?? I miss you around.
Mar. 3rd, 2011 07:14 pm (UTC)
I'm not sure what to think about your psychologist.
First of all she CAN'T force you to talk, indeed usually it's the patient that feels the need to talk, slowly, step by step.
Second. Lesbian? What kind of question is it? I mean... on your first meet? Seriously?
And again... friend behind the pc. Well, some people in RL don't get it how much is strong NOW, in 2011, not 10 years ago, but NOW, the force of a notRL friendship. It doesn't matter if you can touch them, but it matters you can touch our heart and we can touch yours! >.<
I hope you can get the pension dear.
Love you
Mar. 4th, 2011 04:25 pm (UTC)
I agree with you Sunshine.
First it was at 9 in the morning, and I know that isn’t early, but with my pain and side effects I’m not functional until around 11..so it was hard talking to a psychologist at that time in the morning.
About the lesbian thing…I have no idea what that was for….I’m just single that’s all...

”It doesn't matter if you can touch them, but it matters you can touch our heart and we can touch yours! >.<”
Exactly!!!! The feeling and the caring about each other is what makes us friends.
♥Love you Sunshine♥

Mar. 3rd, 2011 09:37 pm (UTC)
I'm just a lurker, but I have to de-lurk to put in my two cents worth. This person is very close-minded. What freakin century is she in? Just because you are single you must be a lesbian? Internet friends are not real?
I'm nearly 36 and unmarried, so by her standards I must be a lesbian too! Evidently my internet friends must be imaginary too! Maybe you should give us the address to her office and all of us imaginary people can send her postcards! If we did, would they be real or imaginary?

I am impressed with your ability to still think she was nice after that type of questioning. I admire your positivity!
Mar. 5th, 2011 02:00 pm (UTC)
Thank you for dropping by honey.
the laws here categorises single women as Lesbians in some situations, they need us in small boxes;)
LOL I think I´ll wait on giving out her address or she will drown in angry postcards and that might damage my case;)
Thank you for your kind words and feel free to drop by anytime.
Mar. 4th, 2011 01:24 am (UTC)
What strange questions. It actually really annoys me when people say online friends arent real friends! I'm much closer to my online friends than I am to friends in real life! I also find it very annoying that if you're happily single and not looking for a husband then the automatic assumption from other people is that you're a lesbian!
*hugs* Glad the rest of the chat went okay though, and I really hope you get the pension!
Mar. 4th, 2011 04:57 pm (UTC)
I asked her what she thought happened to the 94 Christmas cards and presents I send send to my "not-real" friends last year..she had no answer for that.

Actually the laws here in Denmark put you in that category; if your´re single you get treated like a Lesbian or as Gay...meaning you have to follow the rules they put up for gay and Lesbians. But I just think I´m happy to be by myself...I am in love with Jared and Steve so I can´t be a lesbian, can I?;)
I hope it works out too..
♥hugs and kisses♥
I am so glad that I have you as a friend, a REAL friend;)

Mar. 4th, 2011 05:46 am (UTC)
Hi sweetie,
psychologists and social workers are a confused people! You never know exactly how they think about their questions (poor guys, very weird in the head! ;)
I keep my fingers crossed that your pension benefits will be approved.

I'm so happy for you, that your check up went well! *happy dance*

Pinch me a few times ....yup, I´m very real! *lol*

*big hugs for you and your mom*
Mar. 4th, 2011 05:19 pm (UTC)
Hey hon
they really are..I just have to survive the next few weeks and then hope they all decide on the pension.
♥huggles, I am happy too♥
*pinches* from your girly shriek I know you´re REAL♥♥ Thank you for that;)
♥hugs and love you♥
Mar. 4th, 2011 08:18 am (UTC)

But I'm keeping my fingers crossed for you sweetness!!

*Cuddles you close*
Mar. 4th, 2011 04:58 pm (UTC)
The Danish system is weird;)
Thank you so much honey, I am so happy that you are my friend, a REAL one;)
♥clings and kisses♥
(no subject) - a_phoenixdragon - Mar. 4th, 2011 05:26 pm (UTC) - Expand
(no subject) - pippii - Mar. 4th, 2011 06:00 pm (UTC) - Expand
(no subject) - a_phoenixdragon - Mar. 4th, 2011 06:04 pm (UTC) - Expand
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