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This is just a short update on what have been going on the past week or so. I post about Sarah’s weekend this weekend.

Remember my fall last week. Last Thursday at rehab I was standing on a balance turtle shield. I was alone in the gym and doing the exercises I had been given. Suddenly without any warning I fell backwards from the shield and landed on my back and head.
I didn’t think I could get in more pain than I am but turned out I could. I had to cancel rehab Friday and Monday, but it is better now.

I had a talk with my physiotherapist there, and it turns out they have never had a patient like me before, they have no idea how to work with cancer patients that never gets better…..that is interesting I think.

I have my medication regulated again, this time the Lyrica with 50mg so I get 225mg twice a day, for the nerve damage. Plus all the other drugs I get. Luckily I get some refund from the health insurance.

Wednesday Mum and I went to a funeral. It was a young man, 24 years old, that had killed himself. Mum had his sister in day care 18 years ago and I was babysitter for all 3 of them. It was so sad, I feel so bad for his parents, because apparently no one know why he did it…..

My Grandmother and Aunt that have lived here for 15 years and for whom my parents and I have done everything for, have decided to move. My other aunt have arranged for them to get a house in a village where she lives, have terminated the apartment they live in now, gotten my sister, uncle and the rest of the family involved. The only people that didn’t knew anything……Mum and me…we heard it from Sarah!!
I know it is their free choice where they want to live, but Mum and I feel a little betrayed. For the last years we have been over more times a week, to help out with pc, phones, bills every itsy bitsy annoying problem, being the ones helping and taking care of grandmother….and then they don’t even feel the need to tell us they are moving away…..

Yesterday I was at a meeting with my social worker, my physiotherapist there and a woman from the media group - and Mum.
I am going to work in the group four days a week two hours a day between 11 and 1 pm to start. I have Wednesday off. Their plan is to get me to work 37 hours a week within three months.
Well that is not gonna happen but I have to “prove” that I´m sick and never gets better:(

I have my 6 month check up and mammogram at the hospital next Tuesday. To be honest, I am a little nervous….

♥love you♥


( 39 comments — Leave a comment )
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(Deleted comment)
Oct. 22nd, 2010 07:23 pm (UTC)
I´ll do my best honey, no more turtle shield for me.
Somehow I think it is what our family had come too, Mum and I being slaves, but not informed about anything...

Thank you sweetheart♥
Love you♥
Oct. 22nd, 2010 06:57 pm (UTC)
Sounds like it has been a really tough week for you and your Mom. You both really don't need this on top of everything else. Thinking about you darling.

Oct. 22nd, 2010 07:23 pm (UTC)
Thank you so much honey, sometimes a week can be just to much right??
Oct. 22nd, 2010 07:04 pm (UTC)
I'm sorry you're going through tough times, I'm keeping you in my thoughts and prayers.
*hugs and love*
Oct. 22nd, 2010 07:24 pm (UTC)
Thank you very much honey, that means a lot to me.
♥hugs and love you♥
Oct. 22nd, 2010 07:10 pm (UTC)
I think I´ve never mentioned it before but I want to say it now, I think it´s unbelieveable and very extraordinary how open you speak about your illness in a community where you don´t really know (personally) the people who are reading your posts. I really admire you for your frankness and the way you handle it.

Anyways, I understand that you and your mom are hurt about your grandmom and aunt moving away and not telling you about it. They are family and I think thinks like that - moving is something you don´t do everything - should be told your closest relatives.

When are you starting your new "job"? Even if it is just to prove that you are too sick to work I wish you good luck. Maybe you can even enjoy it, socializing with new people again and I hope you will be warmly welcomed and treated friendly.

I bet you are nervous about your examination on Tuesday, who wouldn´t be. I hope the results are the way you wish them to be, I´ll be keeping my finger´s crossed for you.

Sending you loads of love and hugs!
Oct. 22nd, 2010 07:32 pm (UTC)
Thank you honey.
Well I started using this lj as a diary when I got sick, as a way to get down all my thoughts and stuff....
So it is just natural to write this way, and my friends here are more family than some of my "real" family now.

My Mum thinks it has to do with my Dad dying, but I don´t know...anyway my family is weird as you know...

I start next week on Wednesday as I have appointments Monday and Tuesda....
They are nice out there and understand I will not be able to work all those hours, so it is not the worst place to prove I can´t do it..

Thank you sweetheart, I just wish for no cancer or odd cells, that is not to much to ask for is it??

♥hugs and love you♥
(Deleted comment)
Oct. 22nd, 2010 07:26 pm (UTC)
It is so sad.....his poor parents are devastated.

Thank you I think so too, I´m just a bit nervous as always;)
Oct. 22nd, 2010 07:54 pm (UTC)
Awww Hard times honey,Good luck for next TuesdayI'm hugging you so tight xxx
Oct. 23rd, 2010 08:24 am (UTC)
Thank you so much for your support Lisa♥
Oct. 22nd, 2010 08:17 pm (UTC)
I have been a bad LJfriend lately and haven't had the energy to check my flist much, so I hadn't caught that you had a fall. Sorry to hear that!

Interresting what you say about them not being used to seeing a cancer patient that doesn't get better. It makes it so much harder for you, because you have to prove that you don't fit the mold (just as I have to prove that I don't fit the migraine mold). It's really tireing!

Lots of hugs!
Oct. 23rd, 2010 08:26 am (UTC)
Du skal ikke undskylde, jeg ved hvordan det er...

Ja, det er opslidende altid as skulle "bevise" at man er syk og ikke blir bedre, vi har det hårdt nok i forvejen..

Oct. 22nd, 2010 08:33 pm (UTC)
Sorry to hear it's been such a horrible week for you, sweetheart. I hope things look up for you soon. Sending good thoughts your way! *hugs tightly*
Oct. 23rd, 2010 08:29 am (UTC)
Thank you sweetheart.
I has been a hard weel, I´m glad it´s over...
♥hugs and kisses♥
Oct. 22nd, 2010 08:34 pm (UTC)
Oh god hon, I`m so worried now! How are you, hope your back and head is better now and you are not in much pain! "balance shield are very evil" - speak from personal experience.
Because of your grandma and aunt, I can well imagine that you both feel betrayed. I`m so sorry!
I wish you good luck in your job, and hope that you feel comfortable up there and have fun!
Tuesday will be a good day for you - firmly believe - everything is fine - no bad cells, no cancer!!
I `m thinking of you, and keep my fingers crossed. *hugs ya very tight* LG Julia
Oct. 23rd, 2010 08:35 am (UTC)
Thanks honey, I´m better now, but it took a few days to get there.
"balance shield are very evil" they so are!!
I feel angry for my Mum, because she had done everything for them and with just loosing my Dad, she doesn´t decerve to be treated like this....
Thank you I´m sure it will be fine, I´m just always a bit nervous, you know.
♥love you honey♥
Oct. 22nd, 2010 09:23 pm (UTC)
Ounn baby, I'm so sorry.. Take care yourself, please..

I'm praying for you...

Brazilian hugs..
Oct. 23rd, 2010 08:30 am (UTC)
Thanks for being here honey♥
Hugs and kisses
Oct. 22nd, 2010 09:26 pm (UTC)
I'm sorry to hear about your grandparents, that really sounds mean, to tell everyone but you :s

and I didn't know you fell! guess I missed that post/s? :( I'm so sorry! and that they don't know how to work with you sounds weird somehow.

I hope everything works out with the job thing and they realise soon that they can't overstrain you!

love you, darling *huggles*
Oct. 23rd, 2010 08:32 am (UTC)
Yeah, I got angry and felt like they betrayed my Mum, she has been doing everything for them...

It is hard when you have to "prove" all the time that you´re sick.....

♥love you too darling♥
(no subject) - burned_phoenix - Oct. 24th, 2010 04:32 pm (UTC) - Expand
Oct. 22nd, 2010 09:42 pm (UTC)
I'm so sorry you had such a shitty week! *hugs* Good thoughts your way, hun!
Oct. 23rd, 2010 08:28 am (UTC)
I´m glad it is over now to be honest honey.
Thank you♥♥
Oct. 22nd, 2010 10:42 pm (UTC)
♥ hugs ♥

I'm so sorry Pips. Take care of yourself
Oct. 23rd, 2010 08:27 am (UTC)
♥hugs back♥
I will my Pada-girl, I promise♥
Oct. 23rd, 2010 01:43 am (UTC)
*hugs and squishes*
Oct. 23rd, 2010 08:27 am (UTC)
♥Thank you sweetheart♥
Oct. 23rd, 2010 10:24 am (UTC)
It is good to hear that you're a little better, my Kastanje Honey. It is really is sad to know that for now the doctors can't help you with the pain. -_-
I really hope they'll find soon enough something that'll work.
And, then, I feel really sad about what you said about your aunt and grandmother... They really should have told you. It isn't fair. And I'd feel betrayed myself.
Hope everything will be "ok" at work and they'll understand that you need to rest a little more.
Oct. 24th, 2010 07:54 am (UTC)
♥thank you Sweetie♥
The new dose of medication is kicking in, so that helps a lot..
We feel betrayed and don´t want to get involved in the moving, they can ask for help if they want some....
♥hugs and kisses♥
Me too...
♥Love you sweetie♥
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