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It might be a strange question right now, but I’ve been thinking about it since the meeting with the job consultant Friday.

One of her arguments for getting me out in the “real world”, what that I had to get my self esteem back.
She told me that people that have been away from the job market for a long time, in my case almost three years, looses their self esteem.
My first reaction was raised eyebrows, and now you can actually see it when I do it, and an “ohhhh…..”
She looked at me and said; You don’t think you have a problem with your self esteem?”
My Mum laughed and I answered; “ NO, I suffers from a lot of side effects but I don’t suffer from lack of self esteem.”
That made her rather confused..

I know that some people might feel that way, but I feel offended that she thinks that everybody feel that way.
I have had a few different jobs in my time and I have three different educations. I have worked with things I like and changed job when it started to get to boring.
I loved my job as a care helper and I’m really sad that I will never be able to go back to that again.
But my personality have never been defined from my job. I’ve never had a high-paid job, bookseller, cleaning lady and care helper, don’t makes you rich. But I’ve enjoyed it tremendously….

But my job has never been the most important thing in my life.
I’ve always been Annette first and then my job title.
When I got sick I was Annette and then cancer patient. I’m still Annette first and then sick second.

So all in all; I’m Annette, I am happy being me, I know what I am and I don’t lack self esteem just because I’m sick.


( 35 comments — Leave a comment )
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Jun. 28th, 2010 10:17 am (UTC)
I think it might depend on the reason for why you don't have a job that some might suffer from lack of selfesteem. but for something that's not in your power, I think it's not really as often as for just being a 'victim' of the economy.

don't let anyone put stuff in your head with their suggestions. *snuggles*

I had a shitty day so far already. but I still wanted to cuddle you :D
Jun. 28th, 2010 03:53 pm (UTC)
I know people that suffer from lack of self esteem, because of it and I do understand them.
I just resent that she thinks, without even asking, that I do too.

I´m sorry about your day,♥huggles and cuddles♥
(no subject) - burned_phoenix - Jul. 3rd, 2010 02:29 pm (UTC) - Expand
Jun. 28th, 2010 10:33 am (UTC)
I can see her point though, as in if she assumes that the person that has been out of job for three years lack self esteem, she is more often right than wrong, so that would be her first assumption. But when that is said, when you say you don't, she should then say "oh, great, then at least that isn't a problem. Good for you!"
Because as you say - even though it's a case for many, it is not the case for all.

I know it's the case for me... which is what I hate the MOST about not being able to work. For me it's been ten years now, and ironically enough - it's not the "not being able to work" per se that makes me lack self esteem, it's being "in the system," because their constant atempt to figure out how much I can work etc makes me feel again and again that they don't believe in me, and that they think I am a cheater and a fraud. If they could just accept that I am sick and *this is how much I can do* then I would feel that I was doing all I am able to (and it's not my fault) and then I wouldn't have any problems with my esteem.

Sorry - ranting.... I am still fuming after calling NAV again today - and AGAIN I am not able to get hold of my consultant - because again they are busy all the day and all next day - yet they expect us to do things correctly and on time even though we are not able to get hold of them to ask HOW we are meant to do it. (I dette tilfellet: spm ang hvordan jeg skal fylle ut meldekortet denne perioden)
U have to be healthy to have the energy to sit in telephone all day to get hold of them!
Points to icon - I'm taking over your vent!
Jun. 28th, 2010 04:23 pm (UTC)
Hey sweetheart, you can rant here anytime you feel like it.
I’m sorry that you feel that way about yourself, and I’m so sorry that you have to deal with a stupid system that doesn’t believe you.

Her I Danmark har vi et ordsprog der siger; “Man skal have et godt helbred for at være syg”
Det tror jeg passer, med alle de ting man skal når man er syg, og man ikke altid føler at de tror på at man er syg som man siger.
Jeg håber det går godt for dig og at du får den hjælp du har brug for.

♥knuser og krammer♥
(no subject) - bflyw - Jun. 28th, 2010 05:15 pm (UTC) - Expand
Jun. 28th, 2010 10:46 am (UTC)
Jeg ville ønske at jeg kunne være halv så stærk som dig og have halvt så meget selvtillid! Endnu engang er jeg imponeret over hvor lidt situationsfornemmelse de kan have på jobcenteret.

Jeg har en tendens til at forme min identitet efter den title jeg bærer rundt på. 'Fars pige.' 'Thomas' kæreste', 'Idas Mor', 'cand. mag. i historie','PCO'er', 'yderst begrænset frugtbar', 'abejdsløs' - de sidste er den mest skadelige og desværre også dem der fylder mest lige i øjeblikket og overskygger alle de andre. Prøver virklig på at øve mig i at være 'Tina' og ikke andet, men når man nu er så glad for titler så er det fristende bare at 'gemme' sig på den måde.
Jun. 28th, 2010 04:10 pm (UTC)
Tusind tak min ven..
Jeg har ikke altid været sådan men lærte det da jeg blev voksen.
Jeg har haft flere forskellige jobs, og det er mest nogle jeg har fået "tilfældigt", og det er det samme med uddannelser.
Så jeg har aldrig stræbt efter noget på den måde, men altid bare været mig selv....

Men der er så mange forskellige måder at være på, og vi er alle forskellige.

Jun. 28th, 2010 11:24 am (UTC)
I don't think you suffer from low selfesteem either. You are you, and are surrounded by the people who love and support you. I don't think that is a valid arguement in trying to justify getting you back to work, especially from someone how has just met you.

*hugs tight*
Jun. 28th, 2010 04:14 pm (UTC)
Thank you honey.
I have a lot of wonderful friends here that support me and have helped me through everything, and that is one of the reasons that I still have my self esteem and am happy for being me.

♥hugs back♥
Jun. 28th, 2010 11:38 am (UTC)
You don't need to have a problem with your self esteem, you're an amazing personality and a lovely friend.
And I say that without having met you. Imagine how I would feel if I was actually in your life.
Jun. 28th, 2010 03:58 pm (UTC)
Thank you sweetheart, you are so sweet and kind to me.
I would love the meet you someday♥
Jun. 28th, 2010 11:39 am (UTC)
I think the most important this is that you are comfortable being you, and to me... it seems like you are. I wouldn't let anyone put ideas into your head otherwise.

I'm sure she deals with a lot of people who feel the way she expected you to feel, but she still shouldn't stereotype like that.
Jun. 28th, 2010 04:03 pm (UTC)
Thanks hon
Well I am happy about being me;)

I know lots of people lack self esteem and I´m sorry for that, but I resent that she just assumes I am that way, just because I don´t have a job....

Jun. 28th, 2010 12:02 pm (UTC)
I wonder why she 'expects' you to feel that way. It's just so good that you still have high self esteem when many people don't.

Jun. 28th, 2010 03:57 pm (UTC)
Thank you hon.
I know that people can feel that way, and I am sorry for that, but I don´t and I resent that she just assumes I lack self seteem....
Jun. 28th, 2010 02:07 pm (UTC)
I haven't known you long but you don't strike me as someone with low self-esteem and I think this post just confirms that.

I guess she's maybe thinking about confidence rather than self-esteem - it can be hard going back to something when you've been away for a while.

But yeah, I really wouldn't worry about it - you seem to be very comfortable with who you are and, (to quote Sam) that's a good thing.


Jun. 28th, 2010 04:16 pm (UTC)
Thank you hon, that is a good thing♥
I just resent her automatically putting me in a category without even knowing me at all.

Jun. 28th, 2010 02:12 pm (UTC)
That's very good, that you don't have that problem. It's a very serious problem. I should know... *hides*
Jun. 28th, 2010 03:55 pm (UTC)

I know people that suffer from lack of self esteem, because of it and I do understand them.
I just resent that she thinks, without even asking, that I do too.
I´m sorry you feel that way about yourself...
♥hugs and kisses♥
Jun. 28th, 2010 03:21 pm (UTC)
You know what? You're an amazing and wonderful woman! Don't change a bit! :D
Love you! ♥
Jun. 28th, 2010 03:54 pm (UTC)
Thank you so much honey, you are such a wonderful friend♥♥
Love you♥
(Deleted comment)
Jun. 29th, 2010 08:44 am (UTC)
Thanks sweetheart, I´m glad you agree with me, your personallity doesn´t come from what you do, but who you are.
♥hugs and love♥
(Deleted comment)
Jun. 29th, 2010 08:45 am (UTC)
Tak for dine pæne ord søde.
Jeg bliver irriteret når folk fortæller mig at jeg skal være på en måde fordi sådan er de fleste.....
Jun. 28th, 2010 08:10 pm (UTC)
Well, I don't see why you would suffer of self esteem. You have no reason to! oo You're a wonderful person full of beautiful qualities and talents.

I can't understand that it can be difficult for some people who have no job and can't find any right now. You can think "why can't I just find a job, is it something wrong with me?"
But you? Why would you?
You know pretty well why you didn't work during some months.


It's strange that she thought that everybody would feel the same. We're all different, aren't we?
She could have asked how you feel in the first place?oo

Jun. 29th, 2010 08:50 am (UTC)
Thank you sweetie♥
I do understand that some people will feel that way, but I´m not one of them, so it irritates me when people just assume that I do.
♥love you♥
Jun. 28th, 2010 08:17 pm (UTC)
Hahah I can almost see her face *lool*
I think it's crazy that some people think that everybody has the same reaction although we are all different people!
And I see it just like you.
I am young and I should earn money and save but I decided to only work 80%! Like that I have a day off per week most likely friday so I normally do have a long weekend and although I do earn less money I am sooo happy that I do have more time for ME!!! so I never regret it!!

You ROCK honey in soo many ways!!
Love ya
Jun. 29th, 2010 08:51 am (UTC)
LOl year she was sure surprised;)

YAY for you being able to work less and have more time to yourself..that is the right way to go.
♥hugs and kisses♥
Jun. 29th, 2010 05:24 am (UTC)
Well, people stereotype, don't they? I think she might be right in 80 per cent of the cases but still the assumption that everyone must feel that way is a bit much! You are an awesome person and I feel grateful to know someone so caring, even though we haven't met! :) Take care *hugs*
Jun. 29th, 2010 08:53 am (UTC)
Yes they do, and that irritates me to no end....
Thank you for all your kind words honey, I´m so happy that I´ve met you too♥
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