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So what have been going on the past week?
Well, the snow is still here, but everything is almost back to normal;)

Yesterday my parents and I visited my grandmother and that was so not a happy visit; she have more or less given up on her life…she is 84, suffers from arthritis, her hearing is not so good neither her sight…..but she have my aunt living with her doing the shopping, she have someone cleaning the flat twice a month, she have me and my parents living almost next door to help her with everything..but she wont take her medication or do whatever can make her life easier….my parents bought her a wheelchair, because she have trouble walking but she won’t use it, she will not eat or drink properly or do anything to get better….and to tell you the truth, we have more or less given up on her…you can’t help people that will not be helped.

I had a panic attack while shopping Saturday, almost face planted into the apples…but I managed to get out before something happened. I haven’t had that for a long time and it makes me wonder What´s wrong.
You remember the river I told you about some time ago…the one where cancer patients stood on one side and everybody else on the other…I think the river is getting broader and broader, I feel more and more lost….

But good things happens too; tomorrow my parents and I are going to the ballet. We’re going to The Royal Company, dancing Giselle….I’ve never been to a ballet before so I’m quite exited.

Wednesday I have an appointment with my psychiatrist and Thursday with my physiotherapist…I really need both..

Next Tuesday is my Mums 60th birthday but more about that later.

I hope everybody is ok..



( 29 comments — Leave a comment )
Jan. 11th, 2010 06:51 pm (UTC)
&hugd*, Thinking of you all, and praying that things get better. Love You!
Jan. 11th, 2010 07:22 pm (UTC)
Thank you hon.
♥hugs and love you too♥
Jan. 11th, 2010 07:06 pm (UTC)
I'm really sorry to read all of that hon.
I know I can't really find words to make you feel better but I really think dearly about you and hope you'll feel better soon enough.
You know, it is winter and Holidays are behind us so it isn't that rare to not feel really well in this period, isn't it?

I'm really sorry about your grandma but I do know myself that you can't help people who don't want to be helped in the first place.

I hope you'll enjoy yourself at the ballet. I'm pretty sure it'll be amazing and help you to feel better.

Jan. 11th, 2010 07:25 pm (UTC)
Thank you sweetie
You know you being here and caring makes me feel better.
As for my Grandma, there really is nothing to do than to let her complain and mayve she´ll see sense later.
I really look forward to the ballet, I´m sure it´ll be a moodbuster;)
♥Love you sweetie♥♥♥
(no subject) - babydracky - Jan. 12th, 2010 02:47 pm (UTC) - Expand
Jan. 11th, 2010 07:11 pm (UTC)
Hey sweetie!

you think that with your grandma it could be just a phase? I know opa had it more than once....

*hugs you close*

you OK? maybe you need a break from everything... *hugs*
Jan. 11th, 2010 07:27 pm (UTC)
Thanks hon,
yeah it might be a phase, we all thing she might be having a depression or something like that, so I hope she gets better....for now we just let her complain.
I think I need a break and maybe a month where things just goes well...
♥hugs you back♥
Jan. 11th, 2010 07:23 pm (UTC)
*hugs* Sorry to hear about your Grandma, but you are right... you can't help people who don't want to be helped. My grandma would go through phases like this and I know how hard it was on my Dad.

Panic attack... no fun! I know how this one goes. Last year (probably about a year ago now) I ended up in the Emergency Room at 3 a.m. b/c I had a panic attack in the middle of the night. Never had one before that. There was a time where I couldn't go a week w/o having one. Now they come and go--- mostly happen when I am really stressed and they always happen in the middle of the night. If you ever need to talk about it I'm here. I know talking about it helps me... makes me feel better and like I am not weird for having them. You know my email and I am on LJ and Yahoo messenger too. Love ya hon, hang in there!
Jan. 11th, 2010 07:30 pm (UTC)
Thanks hon,
as for my grandma we just let her complain and hopes things get better.
I´m sorry you had such a bad experience, these things are aweful....I´ve had them before, but the antidepressives I get should prevent them, that is why I got so surprised about having one now...thank you for your offer I may take you up on it and mail you.
♥love you♥
Jan. 11th, 2010 07:43 pm (UTC)
Hello, I'm really sorry to see how unhappy your grandma is and how she seems to have given up on life, has she seen a doctor for depression, is she on any medication to try to lift her mood? She seems to have so many family members caring and worrying for her, it's a shame she can't see how much strain she is putting on you all!

You've got to take it easy, you are very vulnerable as is shown by the panic attack, I know it's difficult to stay away from family problems but in order to stay well yourself you really need to distance yourself at times

I wish you're grandma some peace and that things improve for her, you and your family XxX
Jan. 12th, 2010 07:48 am (UTC)
Thank you Susan
My grandmas doctor knows about it, but she refuses to take more pills as she claims it doesn´t help.
I´ll try to take is easy and now I have that appointment tomorrow, amybe talking to her will help.
Thank you for being here for me.
Jan. 11th, 2010 08:36 pm (UTC)
Hey, sweetie! Stay away from the apples! :)

Well that river, I think all of us feel that way sometimes. (I mean everyone with a serious illness.) Other people can't understand everything. But hey, maybe we all should build some boats? *hugs you tight*
Jan. 12th, 2010 07:49 am (UTC)
No more appels for me;)

Yeah lets build an ark^^
♥love you and hugs you
Jan. 11th, 2010 09:10 pm (UTC)
Babe... that river you speak of... you are safe where you are... it will give you time to heal...

Panic attacks are awful... hugs you tight...xxx
Jan. 12th, 2010 07:50 am (UTC)
Thank you so much Dix, it is so noce to have someone that understands me.
♥love you
(Deleted comment)
Jan. 12th, 2010 07:51 am (UTC)
Thank you my Pada-Girl♥
(Deleted comment)
Jan. 12th, 2010 10:47 am (UTC)
We have decided just to let her complain as that is what she wants, not wanting to do anything to get better...
I´m sorry about your attack, but you got through it and thats good, even if we not always knows where it comes from. Mine is mostly when there is a lot of people around and I don´t think I can get away or breathe. I get some meds that helps a lot but sometimes it comes anyway.

"And there's always a ferry, boat, raft, dinghy, floatation device that we can fashion and paint the brightest pink in the known universe."
Thank you sooo much♥

Big hugs and kisses
Jan. 12th, 2010 06:05 am (UTC)
Hey sweets.
Sorry to hear about your grandma. I know my grandma gave up on life and her battle with cancer 5 years ago, and sometimes I think if we should have done something more, pushed her more, or just done something drastic. But I always think that she chose to go her way because she was done with fighting and she wanted to go on her own terms instead of dragging it out. I guess in retrospect I can respect her decision, but it was tough going through it.

I hope you're able to find the root of your despair and feeling lost (maybe that caused the panic attack?) when you talk to the psychiatrist. And we are always here! You can always e-mail me if you want to chat or share the day or just rant and complain :).

And the ballet is just lovely. I've only been to two ballet performances, but I gotta tell you they are just gorgeous to watch... entrancing!

You take care! Love n hugs, T.
Jan. 12th, 2010 10:50 am (UTC)
Right now we just let my grandma complain and just listen without telling her what to do, because she won´t listen to us or the doctor right now.

I feel kind of scared right noe, without being able to tell exactly what I´m scared about, so I really look forward to talk to my therapist tomorrow, she is great at getting me to understand.

Thank you for being such a great friend.
♥hugs and love♥
Jan. 12th, 2010 12:14 pm (UTC)
I'm sorry for your grandma but you're right when you say that you can't help someone that doesn't want to be helped.
Panic attack are awful, I know. And I'm happy to read that you got out of it...

Have fun to the ballet honey!
Jan. 13th, 2010 08:48 am (UTC)
Thank you sweetheart
I guess there is nothing we can do about my grandma, just let her complain.
I hate panic attacks, but fortunately it doesn´t happen that often now.
Jan. 12th, 2010 01:53 pm (UTC)
YAY for the ballet. I've never gone to one either. Enjoy!

And good luck for both up-coming appointments.

Take care, Pippii! ♥
Jan. 13th, 2010 08:48 am (UTC)
Thank you so much honey♥
(Deleted comment)
Jan. 13th, 2010 08:50 am (UTC)
Thank you darling,
I guess there is nothing we can do about my grandma, just let her complain and listen.
I really look forward to my appointment today, I need to talk to her.
♥Love you♥
(Deleted comment)
Jan. 13th, 2010 08:52 am (UTC)
Tak min søde.
Ja der er ikke noget at gøre når de giver op, men det er deres liv og deres valg uanset hvad vi andre mener.
Baletten var pragtfuld, en rigtig god oplevelse.
Jan. 13th, 2010 12:30 pm (UTC)
hei min kære, jeg er så ked av at høre at du hadde slikt et anfall...har du fundet ut noget mere om hvad, der udløste det?

Og hvordan var balletten, jeg elsker jo dans men har heller adrig sett en ballett live! Håper det var vakkert...


ps: Du skrev en gang at din far skal hente os på flyplassen, det er ikke nødvendig! Di og Briony drar til hotellet sent søndag aftes, og jeg kommer mandag morgen-det er ikke noget problem å ta en taxi!

Jan. 13th, 2010 05:24 pm (UTC)
Hej min søde,
Jeg tror at jeg har været for stresset her i julen og nytåret og ikke fået hvilet nok.
Balletten var vidunderlig jeg har lige postet om den.


ps...men men men....jeg vil hente jer!!! Jeg har endda planlagt et banner at holde frem så I kan finde mig!!! *pouts* må jeg ikke nok???????
(no subject) - silverstrings - Jan. 14th, 2010 09:55 am (UTC) - Expand
( 29 comments — Leave a comment )

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