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…….but I really need to get this out of my system so please don’t hate me.
My depression have gotten the better of me right now, as the past few weeks have been really hard on me.
The pain and ache in my bones are getting worse and from now on it is just getting worse..I get medication four times a day just to be able to be around, and I fear the day that the medication is not enough and I´ll be needing stronger..
I need to face the fact that I’ll never be able to come back and work as a health care helper, due to the pain and the loss of feeling in my arms and hands…
My physiotherapy is going well, but what it does is make me able to move my left arm above my head…

My Mum told me yesterday that she read once that people that have survived cancer, felt like they were standing on the other side of a riverbank that the rest of the population…and I feel exactly like that right now.

That is why I have to ask you this…
I have a book that I write all my last wishes in..it is a proper book with questions about life and family, what psalms you like and so..and I’ve been writing in it a lot lately….it is not that I think I’ll die tomorrow, but the first year of the rest of my life is coming up, this have become an obsession with me…

So please;

Can I have a picture of you,,,,I talk a lot about you guys to my parents and they and I would love to know what you look like…
If you don’t want to put it here my email is


And about email addresses,
Can I put your mail in my book for my parents to see and write to the day I’m note here anymore??

I know this is macabre and disgusting and I promise I wont die now….I just need to get this done to be able to move on….

No matter what…I love you♥


( 38 comments — Leave a comment )
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Jun. 15th, 2009 01:28 pm (UTC)
*hugs you*

Honey of course you can!
If you go to my posts on lj you will find plenty of my ugly mug s just grab and use away!
Anything to help you feel better baby.
Jun. 15th, 2009 01:41 pm (UTC)
Thanks Mags♥

I know I´m just being depressed right now, but it have ben bugging me for weeks, so I just have to get it out of my system you know.....
I hope I can let it go once I´ve finished writing in the book..
Jun. 15th, 2009 01:37 pm (UTC)
I'm sorry. *hugs* Here is the only photo I've got online. Of course you can include my address in the book.
Jun. 15th, 2009 01:44 pm (UTC)
Thanks honey;)

I just need to do this right now, making things easier on my parents if the worst happens to me you know...
I´m sure I´ll be able to relax once I´ve gotten it all written down.
I like the picture♥
(Deleted comment)
Jun. 15th, 2009 05:29 pm (UTC)
Thanks sweetie for doing this.
(Deleted comment)
Jun. 15th, 2009 05:31 pm (UTC)
Thanks my little får,
it means a lot to me......
An email pic is fine;)
I don´t think I need anything else for the book right now..
♥love you♥
Jun. 15th, 2009 02:02 pm (UTC)
Here is a link to a photo. I decided to use one with a cat since it represents me the best. And yes, please do include my email and mailing address with it.

I can understand why you want to have this book but I will hope that it is not needed to be used for many many years to come. *hugs*

Edited cause I am a dummy and forgot the link to the picture. *rolls eyes*


Edited at 2009-06-15 02:03 pm (UTC)
Jun. 15th, 2009 05:33 pm (UTC)
Thanks Andrea,
I hope I won´t need it for many years, it is just something I need to do now for my own sake...
♥hugs and kisses♥
Jun. 15th, 2009 02:18 pm (UTC)
Oh, honey!
It makes me sad to hear you talk like that, but I understand.
I don't really have pics of me on this computer. Hell, I haven't taken a picture in a few years, I hate taking pictures. As for my e-mail, sure!

*hugs you and sends you chocolate*
Jun. 15th, 2009 05:35 pm (UTC)
I´m sorry I didn´t mean to bring anybody down......it is just something I need to get out of my system right now you know...
Thanks for doing this.
♥hugs and kisses♥
(Deleted comment)
Jun. 15th, 2009 05:36 pm (UTC)
Thanks so much sweetheart.
I´m so glad you are doing this for me...
♥love you♥

My Dad sends his thanks for the tea, he was very touched that you thought of him.

Jun. 15th, 2009 03:48 pm (UTC)
Oh honey! Sorry I don't have any recent pictures of my self, I posted a few from a long time ago, but all my friends have a lithium tremor, and the pictures end up fuzzy

My email adress is jd009b9028@blueyounder.co.uk

Anything else you just need to ask

sends health vibes

*hugs tight*
Jun. 15th, 2009 05:38 pm (UTC)
Thanks so much honey...
I´m so pleased that you are doing this for me.

♥hugs back♥

Thanks for your address, I´ll send you a breacelet soon..
Jun. 15th, 2009 04:10 pm (UTC)
Here love, you can see a couple of pictures of me in my UK photos gallery don't have much on line, cause I don't post my photos a lot, but use these.

Hope you feel better soon love, I understand where you're coming from, but I hope you feel better soon.
Hugs you.
Jun. 15th, 2009 05:39 pm (UTC)
Thanks hon..
I´m sorry this is the first post of mine you ran into, nomally I´m more cheerful....

♥hugs back♥
Jun. 15th, 2009 04:55 pm (UTC)
*hugs you so tight*

I'm so sorry you are feeling so bad right now, please don't you dare give up, you have come so far.

Of course you can put my email in your book.

*hugs again*

ps. I am sending you an email.
Jun. 15th, 2009 05:41 pm (UTC)
Thank you so much honey...
I´m not giving up I promise, this is just something I fel I need to do right now, so I don´t have to worry about it you know.

♥hugs back♥
look forward to the mail♥
Jun. 15th, 2009 05:05 pm (UTC)
Iii'm going to have to dig somewhere on my computer for pictures of me; failing that, I can always borrow my aunt's camera. Might take a day or so, but.

Jun. 15th, 2009 05:41 pm (UTC)
Thanks for doing this hon.
Jun. 15th, 2009 06:44 pm (UTC)
Sweetie, try to be positive. You have been under a terrible ordeal in your life and is antural some days are not good.
I give you all my support and love.
Here's my pic for you:
free image host

My e-mail is in my profile.
Jun. 15th, 2009 08:22 pm (UTC)
Thank you sweetheart,
I´m trying to be positive you know me;)
Thank you for the pic.
Jun. 15th, 2009 07:10 pm (UTC)
You don't have to ask me. I'm sitting here crying not knowing what to say, it isn't like me to not know what to say. Words I guess are pretty meaningless. You know how I feel. We say it a lot. But with you babe. . . It is real and it means something. You are an inspiration to me and I love you loads.

I am so sorry you are depressed. What can I do to help. Anything.

*hugs* d x x

Edited at 2009-06-15 07:13 pm (UTC)
Jun. 15th, 2009 08:24 pm (UTC)
Aww Dix thank you, I´m so sad I made you cry....
I´m so lucky to have a friend like you, and I love you loads for always takeing care of me♥

♥love you
(Deleted comment)
Jun. 15th, 2009 08:26 pm (UTC)
Thank you hon for doing this and thank you for the pics and address...
♥hugs tight♥
Jun. 15th, 2009 10:00 pm (UTC)
Hei min kære,

Jeg er så trist for å høre at du hard det hårdt om dagen. Du har et billede av mig, tror jeg, men jeg kan sende dig mit billede med Jared på mail om du vil ha det. Det er noget dårlig kvalitet men alikevel.

Jeg er svært glad i dig, min venn, jeg håper dine dager blir lettere fremover. Bare sim om der er noget, jeg kan gøre!

Jun. 16th, 2009 09:05 am (UTC)
Hej søde,
Tusind tak fordi du gør dette for mig...
Tak for billedet du ser sød ud;)
Jeg holder også meget af dig, og jeg er så glad at vi blev venner..
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