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Mum and I spend the weekend cleaning up the apartment, for the wake after the funeral….

Monday…I made ten small bouquets to put on the coffin after the ceremony. Some flowers and a string of rosemary for remembrance…that is from Hamlet and I introduced it when my best friend Marie died 15 years ago..
I also made copies of Amazing Grace..

Mum and I arrived at the Church at 12.30..it is the Church just across from me.
My Dads Aunt and Uncle was there, and so was my five cousins, my aunts, my Dads sister and brother, my brother and SIL, m sister and BIL and Rebecca - my niece - and two friends of Mum and I..

The Priest read from the Easter Gospels and then had a lovely speech about my Dad, from the information we gave her..
My Mum said a few words too, it is not normal to do that here, but she asked and the priest said yes..She recited a verse from a Danish Musical that she thought fitted her and Dad.
We sang four hymns and through the last one, my brother, sister, BIL, uncle, Mum and I carried the coffin out.

After placing the coffin in the car, we had a small ceremony of our own..
Mum, I, Sister and Rebecca, brother and SIL, three aunts and uncle placed the flower bouquets that I made on the coffin.
I sang “Amazing Grace” as I had promised Dad, that I would do that more than 30 years ago..I´ve made copies if anyone wanted to sing but it was a solo performance.
Then my sister, on Mums request, read “Do not stand on my grave and weep” by Mary Elisabeth Frye.
Then we watched the car drive away, and went home to Mum.
I mostly stayed in the kitchen feeding people, making coffee and playing with Rebecca…but it was a nice wake, people talking and laughing.
When the guests had left, we went to the cemetery and put the flowers on my Mums parents grave, as we didn’t have a place for Dad yet.
Then Mum and I went back, ate the leftovers and cleaned the place up, before I went home…



( 51 comments — Leave a comment )
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Aug. 13th, 2010 10:43 am (UTC)
awwwww Annette, you break my heart with your honesty, your words are so simple and to the point, and yet they express your anguish so deeply!

*Hugs you so tight*
Aug. 13th, 2010 10:59 am (UTC)
♥ohhh Susan I´m glad you like it....I need to write it down myself to get it out of my system and to not forget what happened....
♥hugs back♥
Aug. 13th, 2010 10:46 am (UTC)
*Massive hugs for you and your mum*. ♥

Aug. 13th, 2010 10:59 am (UTC)
♥hugs you right back honey♥
Aug. 13th, 2010 10:55 am (UTC)
Det høres ud som en vakker ceremoni kære. Er stolt av dig som sang og av din mor som klarede at lese. Er sikker på din far setter pris på det... Hvordan synes du dagen gik? *klemmer tæt*
Aug. 13th, 2010 11:02 am (UTC)
Tusind tak min søde Elly♥
Jeg er sikker på at min far synes om læsningen og sangen:)
Jeg synes det var en fin dag der gik godt...Det glæder mig når vi jo ikke kan gøre det om...
♥klemmer dig og slipper aldrig♥
Aug. 13th, 2010 11:47 am (UTC)
Your dad is watching you, sweetie and must be proud of you.
(hugs tight)
Aug. 13th, 2010 05:04 pm (UTC)
Ohhh Jas, thank you sooo much♥
Huggles you♥
Aug. 13th, 2010 11:58 am (UTC)
*chokes up* It sounds like a beautiful ceremony. And Amazing Grace... oh God.
Some time ago one of our ladies from my gospel choir died of cancer, and despite it being a holiday time and the funeral being held on a weekday in the morning, despite of our maestro not being able to be there, we managed to get twenty people together so that we could sing at the funeral. And of course we had to sing Amazing Grace... amazingly enough we managed to sing it without anyone choking up, it was only after we finished that everyone started to cry. But now I can't sing the song without thinking of that. RIP, Veronika.

Kudos to you for singing it, and it's nice that your mum got the opportunity to speak.

Aug. 13th, 2010 05:08 pm (UTC)
Amazing Grace is such a beautiful song..I´ve always loved it and so had my Dad, and I promised him years ago, that I would sing it at his funeral...Mum tod me today, that she was so pleased that I did it and that it was lovely...

It sounds like you did an amazing job at saying goodbye to your friend there.

♥big hugs ele♥
Aug. 13th, 2010 11:59 am (UTC)
Such a moving ceremony. Your dad will be with you still.

*love, hugs and kisses*
Aug. 13th, 2010 05:12 pm (UTC)
I´m sure he is looking down at us, for the middle star in The Belt of Orion...
♥love you and hugs and kisses you♥
Aug. 13th, 2010 12:28 pm (UTC)
*hugs you tight*
Im sorry i havent been around but Im thinking of you sweetheart, I love you.
Aug. 13th, 2010 05:14 pm (UTC)
Ohhhh Mags, thank you..♥love you too♥
(Deleted comment)
Aug. 13th, 2010 05:16 pm (UTC)
Thanks sweetheart, it was really mooving in a nice way..

YAY I´m glad Hannah likes pink, tell I do too;)
You are so very welcome sweetheart, it is my pleasure.

♥hugs and kisses♥
Love you♣
(Deleted comment)
Aug. 13th, 2010 01:09 pm (UTC)
Sounds like a lovely ceremony.

It sounds like it was personal, reflecting both your father and you who are left behind.

I feel for you all now, who has to live without his presens. I hope your mom will be okay. It cannot be easy to start living without your spouse next to you.

I hope you and your brother and sister will be okay. That you can all remember him together.

I have been lucky not to have dealth with death in the close family (only grandparents, but they were old and had lived their lives to the fullest, so it was easier to deal with. It wasn't a feeling of it beeing too soon or anyone being robbed of life). I have watched people deal with it though - my aunt having lost two husbands, and my (step-)cousin (daughter of aunts second husband) dealing with suddenly being without parents at age 25, when her last living parent died. And what I has struck me (especially with the case of my cousin) is how much strength seemingly immature/dependent people can show. However, finding that strength and getting through it is no easy task. It's a reason why people need that strength, and that's because it's difficult times. I know though, that you have that strength, you have already showed that.

Thank you do much for sharing your experience with us, even though we can't take any of your pain. I hope sharing it helps you deal with it, and it surely helps me be a better friend (hopefully to you, and also to friends to come later that needs me to be a friend in difficult times).

Aug. 13th, 2010 05:27 pm (UTC)

Thank you so much honey, it was a lovely ceremony.
I´m glad that you like to read my posts even if they are really personal.
It helps me a lot to write it down, and to have wonderful friends here to help me, makes is so much easier.

Aug. 13th, 2010 01:30 pm (UTC)
It sounds like it was a beautiful ceremony, Annette. I'm sure you're Dad is very proud of you.

Aug. 13th, 2010 05:29 pm (UTC)
Thanks honey, it really was, and I hope he is, I´m sure he is looking down at us;)
Aug. 13th, 2010 02:02 pm (UTC)
I don't really know what to say, but I just want to let you know that I'm thinking of you and your mom! *hugs*
Aug. 13th, 2010 05:33 pm (UTC)
That means a lot to me sweetheart.
♥clings and loves♥
(Deleted comment)
Aug. 13th, 2010 05:34 pm (UTC)
It was actually a nice experience though sad, but we were all there.
♥hugs back♥
Aug. 13th, 2010 02:20 pm (UTC)
*hugs you tight*

I know exactly how you feel...
Aug. 13th, 2010 05:35 pm (UTC)
♥Hugs you back sweetheart♥
I know...
Aug. 13th, 2010 03:25 pm (UTC)
awe pips im glad that it was peaceful for you.

i love you honey bear- *big hugs*
Aug. 13th, 2010 05:36 pm (UTC)
Ohhhh Baby-Doll.....
It was quite nice, that we got to do some personal tings at the ceremony..
♥Love you so much♥
(no subject) - paloma1182 - Aug. 13th, 2010 05:53 pm (UTC) - Expand
Aug. 13th, 2010 04:58 pm (UTC)
Many, many hugs for you and your mom. You're both in my thoughts, sweetie. ♥
Aug. 13th, 2010 05:37 pm (UTC)
♥hugs back at you♥
thank you honey, thinking of you too..
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( 51 comments — Leave a comment )

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